Post by Shock on May 25, 2006 13:22:54 GMT -5
There are certain things in life that really get me thinking. So today, instead of my usual rant about some random topic, I've decided to let you in on what makes me go hmmmmm.
Some of the questions I've received suitable answers to over the years, while others still have me completely f#*kin' bumfuzzled.
So please, anyone and everyone, feel free to give me you opinion on any or all the questions. Let's begin!
This is the one that started it all!!!
Q: Why is it, that when it's cold outside, you can see your breath, but you can't see a fart? Much research has been put into this question, so before you ask me about it or give any suggestions of your own...know this...this has been tried. A breath can be seen on a cold January day while a bare-assed fart cannot!!
Q: Why is it that the only body parts on a human being that continues to grow until death, other that finger and toe nails, are the nose and ears...however, the older you get (and presumably the larger your ears get), the harder it is to hear?
Q: So if women’s tits continue to sag as they get older and older and by the time their 75 they have to pick their left and/or right mammary up off the floor when they sit down...then does that mean that all the old grey-haired bastards are tucking their twigs and berried into their dress socks? If so, then that would explain why they have to wear those damn sock garters!!
Q: So if you were blind since birth, and you have never seen a single image or color or anything...what would you dream about? And don't give me this "being able to see" bullsh*t, because when we all dream we see images. We don’t dream of something that we can't picture.
Q: Why is it that that the older you get, the stranger the places are that hair begins to grow? We've all seen old guys who had more hair coming out ot their ears and nose than they had on their head at birth. Is this someosort of cruel joke...as you age and you hair on you head starts to thin...it starts to pop up everywhere else?
Q: Why do dumbasses travel in packs? You may not always see a bunch of dumbasses together, but do you ever see one with someone who is exceptionally smart...NO. You would think they would want to surround themselves with intelligence to compensate for their dumbassesness but instead they try to find someone even more stupid so they then become the smart one. This is really great when they decide to mate and have little retards!!
Q: Wrap your brain around this...if you fall into the previous questions description, then please move on to the next question, because you won’t stand a chance. If it was possible to dig a hole completely through the earth, and you then stepped into the hole feet first, would you shoot out of the ground on the other side...FEET FIRST?
Q: Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons? I mean they weren't born, so why would they have a scar from their umbilical cord?
Q: Can anyone REALLY picture Marv Albert as a freakin' perv? Picture this...Marv is standing in front of his mirror wearing his newly purchased Fredrick's of Hollywood crotchless teddy saying "YES!! And it counts!!"
Q: Has anyone seen my red rubber ball?
Q: Why do people try so hard to make others like them? Is it just me, or aren't these very people who are trying so damn hard to get you to like them not actually the most annoying son's of bitches you've ever come across? So in all actuality, them trying to make you like them makes you dislike them even more!!
Q: How can you be a vegetarian and not be a vegan? If you are going to be a vegetarian and still eat fish and dairy products you’re not anything but a hypocritical c*#t. Is it a coincidence that "vegetarian" and "f*#king c*nt" have the same number of letters...I THINK NOT!!
Q: Why do gays and lesbians go after the opposite of what their sex actually is? Think about this...lesbians, usually go after the big manly bull dykes and gay men go after the pansy men. This isn't always the case, but if you ask me if you say you're a lesbian and you are having a woman strap one on that has more testosterone than an NFL lineman...maybe you should just go after the dude in the first place!!
Q: And finally, why is it, that in the game of baseball, the foul line and foul pole is actually fair? I know this one, but I want to see what the rest of you think.
So this is my attempt to get each and everyone of you to interact with me here. I want to know what the rest of you bastards are thinking. Let me hear your thoughts on these questions and send me some of the things that get you going and good ol' Randy will let you hear what he has to say on the matter.
DEAL WITH IT,
Randy Daily
Some of the questions I've received suitable answers to over the years, while others still have me completely f#*kin' bumfuzzled.
So please, anyone and everyone, feel free to give me you opinion on any or all the questions. Let's begin!
This is the one that started it all!!!
Q: Why is it, that when it's cold outside, you can see your breath, but you can't see a fart? Much research has been put into this question, so before you ask me about it or give any suggestions of your own...know this...this has been tried. A breath can be seen on a cold January day while a bare-assed fart cannot!!
Q: Why is it that the only body parts on a human being that continues to grow until death, other that finger and toe nails, are the nose and ears...however, the older you get (and presumably the larger your ears get), the harder it is to hear?
Q: So if women’s tits continue to sag as they get older and older and by the time their 75 they have to pick their left and/or right mammary up off the floor when they sit down...then does that mean that all the old grey-haired bastards are tucking their twigs and berried into their dress socks? If so, then that would explain why they have to wear those damn sock garters!!
Q: So if you were blind since birth, and you have never seen a single image or color or anything...what would you dream about? And don't give me this "being able to see" bullsh*t, because when we all dream we see images. We don’t dream of something that we can't picture.
Q: Why is it that that the older you get, the stranger the places are that hair begins to grow? We've all seen old guys who had more hair coming out ot their ears and nose than they had on their head at birth. Is this someosort of cruel joke...as you age and you hair on you head starts to thin...it starts to pop up everywhere else?
Q: Why do dumbasses travel in packs? You may not always see a bunch of dumbasses together, but do you ever see one with someone who is exceptionally smart...NO. You would think they would want to surround themselves with intelligence to compensate for their dumbassesness but instead they try to find someone even more stupid so they then become the smart one. This is really great when they decide to mate and have little retards!!
Q: Wrap your brain around this...if you fall into the previous questions description, then please move on to the next question, because you won’t stand a chance. If it was possible to dig a hole completely through the earth, and you then stepped into the hole feet first, would you shoot out of the ground on the other side...FEET FIRST?
Q: Did Adam and Eve have belly buttons? I mean they weren't born, so why would they have a scar from their umbilical cord?
Q: Can anyone REALLY picture Marv Albert as a freakin' perv? Picture this...Marv is standing in front of his mirror wearing his newly purchased Fredrick's of Hollywood crotchless teddy saying "YES!! And it counts!!"
Q: Has anyone seen my red rubber ball?
Q: Why do people try so hard to make others like them? Is it just me, or aren't these very people who are trying so damn hard to get you to like them not actually the most annoying son's of bitches you've ever come across? So in all actuality, them trying to make you like them makes you dislike them even more!!
Q: How can you be a vegetarian and not be a vegan? If you are going to be a vegetarian and still eat fish and dairy products you’re not anything but a hypocritical c*#t. Is it a coincidence that "vegetarian" and "f*#king c*nt" have the same number of letters...I THINK NOT!!
Q: Why do gays and lesbians go after the opposite of what their sex actually is? Think about this...lesbians, usually go after the big manly bull dykes and gay men go after the pansy men. This isn't always the case, but if you ask me if you say you're a lesbian and you are having a woman strap one on that has more testosterone than an NFL lineman...maybe you should just go after the dude in the first place!!
Q: And finally, why is it, that in the game of baseball, the foul line and foul pole is actually fair? I know this one, but I want to see what the rest of you think.
So this is my attempt to get each and everyone of you to interact with me here. I want to know what the rest of you bastards are thinking. Let me hear your thoughts on these questions and send me some of the things that get you going and good ol' Randy will let you hear what he has to say on the matter.
DEAL WITH IT,
Randy Daily