Post by Shock on Oct 3, 2006 10:40:22 GMT -5
So I don't know if you all remember my good friend, the Rev. Richard Nathaniel Bush, but I have been staying in touch with him a little since our last visit. For those of you who don't know what I'm talking about, the Rev. is my old friend who is almost 1,000 pounds now. If you'd like to find out more, go back and read the DAILY Chronicle dealing with OBESIETY. Anyways, the Rev. is planning on having gastric bypass surgery to help him lose the weight.
Being the good friend that I am...good ol' Randy decided he would take the Rev. to get his consult. I grabbed the phone book...hit the yellow pages...and rented a U-Haul and headed to his place. I don't care that you think this is cold and heartless... you try to get a 1,000 pound blob of sweaty stinky fat in your SUV, because I'm sure the hell not going to!!
When we pulled up outside the clinic, it looked like a mix between an apocalyptic nightmare and a wet dream. There were definitely some before and after photo miracles happening here. So we get the Rev. inside...which was WAY more work that I was expecting...and into his room. While he was in there, I roamed the halls of the clinic and couldn't help but think about what television has turned our people into. The first things I thought of were all of those plastic surgery shows on television now. You have Dr. 90210, Nip/Tuck, and my favorites...when Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong.
I remember seeing on an episode of Dr. 90210 once where porn star Tabitha Stevens was having something like her 100th procedure done. This time she's in to get her anus bleached. Are you serious?!?!? You're really gonna get your ass bleached. What is exactly the point of this procedure and more importantly...WHO CAME UP WITH IT??? Who was sitting down one day and thought that the world would be a better place if our assholes were a little lighter? Tabitha Steven used to be a very beautiful woman...now she looks more like an alien that a woman. She has had liposuction, multiple boob jobs, cheek implants put in, cheek implants taken out and new cheek implants put in. I swear there is less plastic in her blow up likeness than in the real deal.
This is my problem with cosmetic surgery...people get it for no good reason and seem to have a problem knowing when to stop. What it really comes down to it that they think that if get their lips plumped, their stomach flattened, their wrinkles Botoxed and their face lifted they'll be happy. They won't!! There is something going on way deeper than the outer appearance that is causing this. And I've heard it before...it's because all of the women are getting it done and they feel like they HAVE too to keep guys interested. UMMMMM...NO!!!! Let's see...what's more sexy... a paralyzed forehead from Botox where I can't tell if your surprised, scared to death, happy or sad...or a cute little wrinkle under your eye because you sleep on that side of you face or that little wrinkle on your forehead that appears every time you wrinkle up your nose at something funny. These are signs of character...they show where you've been...they tell your story. That's why guys think scars are cool. They are part of a greater experience that we can look back on...why try to erase that.
Now, while I'm still killing time waiting on my fatass of a friend to get done with his counselor, I notice this remarkable Italian beauty sitting in the main waiting area. I figure she's there with a friend and I'd go chat her up while she was waiting. You can imagine how shocked I was when I found out she was there for a consult. What in the hell could this fine example of woman be wanting done. So without asking I let her know what my feelings were on the situation and I was trying to figure out what she was wanting done...without just asking. I was shocked to hear her side of the story.
She told me she wanted to get a breast augmentation. (HEY...THIS IS GETTING BETTER EVERY MINUTE) I decide to play along and play devils advocate. I reassure that it really isn't needed. That's when she looked at me and asked me if I wanted the dick of a 12 year old. My first thought was "WHAT THE HELL". After trying to process this for what seemed like an eternity I looked back at her and said "No, I'm not Michael Jackson". She didn't think this was that funny and went on to tell me that that is what she felt like...like she had the breast of a 12 year old girl. She told me that she started getting boobs when she was 12 (in the late winter) and by her 13th birthday the following August... they stopped growing. I was speechless... it would suck to have a little Vienna sausage of a peter.
She went on to tell me how she had tried everything from stuffing her bra to using the little foam implants. She told me of all the people that made fun of her for doing so...she told me of how having kids and breastfeeding helped increase her size while she was breastfeeding, but afterward, of how they got smaller. She went on to support what I had said about being comfortable with ones self but there were cases where cosmetic surgery was the only option to accomplish this completely.
I left there that day confused. I still stood firmly by my original statements, but this Itialian angel of light..."Angelo di Luce" (that's right...that's Italian baby)...made me look at it differently. Luce...you are a beauty and Randy hopes to hear more from you in the future...and see more of you too after that boob job!
I want to leave you all with a little story. This lady was visiting her surgeon. If there ever was an addiction to plastic surgery, she was your poster child. you name it and she had already had it done. In her consult she told the doctor that she wanted ANOTHER face lift. The doctor advised against but she was persistent so he gave in. She went under the knife and went home. When she removed the bandages, she was terribly upset. She went to the doctor and wanted to know why she had huge bags under her eyes after her surgery. She also mentioned that she was noticing that she was starting to grow facial hair. The doctor told her that he had strongly urged he to not go through with this last facelift. He told her that she didn't have bags under her eyes and that she wasn't growing facial hair...instead, she had already had so many lifts that those were her breast under her eyes and she would now be needing that Brazilian wax done once a week!!!!
DEAL WITH IT!
Randy Daily
Being the good friend that I am...good ol' Randy decided he would take the Rev. to get his consult. I grabbed the phone book...hit the yellow pages...and rented a U-Haul and headed to his place. I don't care that you think this is cold and heartless... you try to get a 1,000 pound blob of sweaty stinky fat in your SUV, because I'm sure the hell not going to!!
When we pulled up outside the clinic, it looked like a mix between an apocalyptic nightmare and a wet dream. There were definitely some before and after photo miracles happening here. So we get the Rev. inside...which was WAY more work that I was expecting...and into his room. While he was in there, I roamed the halls of the clinic and couldn't help but think about what television has turned our people into. The first things I thought of were all of those plastic surgery shows on television now. You have Dr. 90210, Nip/Tuck, and my favorites...when Plastic Surgery Goes Wrong.
I remember seeing on an episode of Dr. 90210 once where porn star Tabitha Stevens was having something like her 100th procedure done. This time she's in to get her anus bleached. Are you serious?!?!? You're really gonna get your ass bleached. What is exactly the point of this procedure and more importantly...WHO CAME UP WITH IT??? Who was sitting down one day and thought that the world would be a better place if our assholes were a little lighter? Tabitha Steven used to be a very beautiful woman...now she looks more like an alien that a woman. She has had liposuction, multiple boob jobs, cheek implants put in, cheek implants taken out and new cheek implants put in. I swear there is less plastic in her blow up likeness than in the real deal.
This is my problem with cosmetic surgery...people get it for no good reason and seem to have a problem knowing when to stop. What it really comes down to it that they think that if get their lips plumped, their stomach flattened, their wrinkles Botoxed and their face lifted they'll be happy. They won't!! There is something going on way deeper than the outer appearance that is causing this. And I've heard it before...it's because all of the women are getting it done and they feel like they HAVE too to keep guys interested. UMMMMM...NO!!!! Let's see...what's more sexy... a paralyzed forehead from Botox where I can't tell if your surprised, scared to death, happy or sad...or a cute little wrinkle under your eye because you sleep on that side of you face or that little wrinkle on your forehead that appears every time you wrinkle up your nose at something funny. These are signs of character...they show where you've been...they tell your story. That's why guys think scars are cool. They are part of a greater experience that we can look back on...why try to erase that.
Now, while I'm still killing time waiting on my fatass of a friend to get done with his counselor, I notice this remarkable Italian beauty sitting in the main waiting area. I figure she's there with a friend and I'd go chat her up while she was waiting. You can imagine how shocked I was when I found out she was there for a consult. What in the hell could this fine example of woman be wanting done. So without asking I let her know what my feelings were on the situation and I was trying to figure out what she was wanting done...without just asking. I was shocked to hear her side of the story.
She told me she wanted to get a breast augmentation. (HEY...THIS IS GETTING BETTER EVERY MINUTE) I decide to play along and play devils advocate. I reassure that it really isn't needed. That's when she looked at me and asked me if I wanted the dick of a 12 year old. My first thought was "WHAT THE HELL". After trying to process this for what seemed like an eternity I looked back at her and said "No, I'm not Michael Jackson". She didn't think this was that funny and went on to tell me that that is what she felt like...like she had the breast of a 12 year old girl. She told me that she started getting boobs when she was 12 (in the late winter) and by her 13th birthday the following August... they stopped growing. I was speechless... it would suck to have a little Vienna sausage of a peter.
She went on to tell me how she had tried everything from stuffing her bra to using the little foam implants. She told me of all the people that made fun of her for doing so...she told me of how having kids and breastfeeding helped increase her size while she was breastfeeding, but afterward, of how they got smaller. She went on to support what I had said about being comfortable with ones self but there were cases where cosmetic surgery was the only option to accomplish this completely.
I left there that day confused. I still stood firmly by my original statements, but this Itialian angel of light..."Angelo di Luce" (that's right...that's Italian baby)...made me look at it differently. Luce...you are a beauty and Randy hopes to hear more from you in the future...and see more of you too after that boob job!
I want to leave you all with a little story. This lady was visiting her surgeon. If there ever was an addiction to plastic surgery, she was your poster child. you name it and she had already had it done. In her consult she told the doctor that she wanted ANOTHER face lift. The doctor advised against but she was persistent so he gave in. She went under the knife and went home. When she removed the bandages, she was terribly upset. She went to the doctor and wanted to know why she had huge bags under her eyes after her surgery. She also mentioned that she was noticing that she was starting to grow facial hair. The doctor told her that he had strongly urged he to not go through with this last facelift. He told her that she didn't have bags under her eyes and that she wasn't growing facial hair...instead, she had already had so many lifts that those were her breast under her eyes and she would now be needing that Brazilian wax done once a week!!!!
DEAL WITH IT!
Randy Daily